Sex changes everything

Indeed it does. Either it makes a relationship better or worse, or just makes a relationship. Or not.

When two people are in love, they can conquer anything. But if the sex isn’t good enough, their relationship is doomed. And conquering just falls out the window. If they’re not in love, but the sex is heavenly, they might fall in love with each other after their bodies did. So it changes everything.

But what happens, when they don’t know yet? What if they don’t wait? What if one loves another, however the other doesn’t love one. What if one wants a relationship, and the other one just wants the body parts? What happens then?

I met a boy. He was extremely charming and funny, so yeah, I kinda had a thing for him. But when I want someone to be my boyfriend, I make them wait. Not for too long, just a little. To see deeper. But the boy wanted sex and he kept saying things that – after about one and a half days – led to sex. And what I realized after, is that sex changes everything. Now what I feel? I don’t know. But definately lost most of my interest in him. Having sex with him made him one of many. So now, how can I feel anything for someone who is exactly like a hundred others? Now I look at his face and mostly I see someone I had. I see a night, a morning and nothing else. What should I have done?

I know. I should’ve said no. And I did. Like a thousand times. But he kept praying my pants off. And you know what? I don’t care, or at least I don’t want to care about the fact that we became a one-night stand. After a while I just said ‘You know what? Fuck you. I’m done. Let’s fuck.’. And the thing is that I just wanted him to stop. Although it felt good that he wants me and not the other 20 girls lurking around him like puppies. But was it worth it? I don’t know. I just know that in spite of the fact that I had an orgasm, I really don’t feel satisfied. And yeah. Sex changed everything. Before, I looked at him and all I could see was his ridiculously cute smile. Now, I don’t know what I’m seeing anymore. The smile is still there, the face is still there but we look at each other differently.

So I don’t know anything anymore. What do I want? Who do I want? Maybe all this is just again about searching love. Sex is good. But be careful. It has consequences.

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